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With the Bar Room Barristers (BRB).

Once in while there’s a few of us get together at a convenient pub and discuss matters aeronautical (No, darts and beer have nothing to do with it, shame on you); last evening was such an occasion.  One of the topics, naturally enough was the disappearance of MH 370, or rather the money clock ticking down and the lack of any discovery.  My theory that ET has it was about to be challenged.

The comment on Plane Talking – by Anton : “PLEASE…reality is horrid enough before filmmakers get their grubby hands on it“…..took the discussion into the realm of the film makers art.  What a movie plot the story would make; hell, you could even claim it was based on a true story.   It took a while and many discarded beer coasters to eventually dream up a story which just about squeezed all the known facts into the plot and more than a little imagination; but we reckoned (by closing time) we had it nailed down.  How about this:-

Motive – for the plot is easily defined; something in the cargo hold was worth squillions, lets call it bullion for the want of anything less esoteric and someone wants it.

Means – Well, we puzzled on this for while; but, eventually it was decided that seeing as the FO (co-pilot) was famous for inviting beautiful, nubile young ladies (BNYL) into the front office, that it would not be too big a stretch for a canister of KO gas to be used, disabling the crew.  We liked the notion that the BNYL had begged to try on a crew oxygen mask before hand.   Once you have the crew, the cockpit door is unguarded, enter the dragons.   ‘They’ now have the flight deck; depressurise to remove the witnesses, restore pressure after 10 uncomfortable minutes; and, hey presto – now you have the ship….

Method – Here the thick plottens and some imagination is required; but we restricted our efforts to the facts that are available; the mystery of the carefully constructed flight path which tip-toed along the FIR boundaries always going away from an area of direct concern to the radar operators on either side of that line; ‘not mine and going away’ says the hapless controller; who, not being concerned declines to alert anyone important at Silly o’clock on a week end.  So the aircraft glides away, untroubled by radio calls from either side of the FIR boundary line.  This takes the flight into the troubling area of lost time.  Where the switch could have been made.

This is where MH 370 starts a descent into a ‘friendly’ aerodrome at the same time a signals ‘dark’ Lear jet is launched, going signals ‘live’ as MH 370 goes ‘dark’ when they cross altitude, the Lear faithfully reproducing the 777 signals.  One down, one up.

The 777 lands, the villains unload the purloined cargo and at their leisure and dispose of the inconvenient evidence in some novel manner at a remote location.  Exeunt stage left MH 370 cast, crew and props.

The Lear continues on, laying a false ‘signals’ trail; just long enough to ensure sufficient ‘white noise’ is made about the exact track to establish some elements of doubt, but ensuring to provide just enough to make sure that a ‘logical’ search area can be established, then it’s back to base for tea, biscuits and a nice fat share of whatever was disappeared.

Well Anton, there’s your script, definitely a James Bond story, but we had so much fun nutting it out I thought it would be fun to share.   One of our crew had a serious, but short lived moment and declared it all fit very neatly, too neatly in fact; but the howls of derision forced him to get the next round of drinks in. Me? – I will, just for the moment, resolutely stand by my Extra Terrestrials notion; it has a simple elegance and stops people asking me the same damn fool questions at dinner parties.

Toot – toot..Wink..