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Simply Marvellous Horse-pooh (SMH).


SMH: The 57-year-old is helping solve what remains the greatest aviation mystery of all time: the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.

This, all without any technical qualification (NFI in industry parlance). Doesn’t it therefore qualify (technically) as a ‘porky’? – in light of the Senate report of the Pel Air inquiry. I believe, some of the words used in Hansard transcript were: unreliable, disingenuous and untenable. Although industry further accords the “beyond all reason” approach as being directly attributable to “the team leader”. Yet our beloved Bea-cur can sit there; stuffing his now shaved face with spaghetti, intimating (in public) that ‘he’ (probably only he alone) will solve the MH 370 riddle: industry is overwhelmed andsimply says “it’s beyond all reason”.

SMH :As head of the Australian Transport Safety Bureau, he is leading the search for the jet, concentrated deep in the southern Indian Ocean off the coast of Perth.

This ‘leading’ is done mind you, without any technical qualification (NFI in industry parlance). Doesn’t it therefore qualify (technically) as a ‘porky’? – in light of the Senate report into the Pel Air inquiry. I believe some of the words used in Hansard were: unreliable, disingenuous and untenable, industrysimply says “it’s beyond all reason”.

SMH : “Sometimes I’m tempted to say ‘oh yes, we’ve found it we’re just not telling you’,” he says. He quickly clarifies that he’s joking.

They do say his water cooler nickname is “laughing boy”. Oh yes, the famous Dolan sense of humour at work, a pawky wit and a fine sense of the ridiculous”; dry as sticks. Industry simply says “it’s beyond all reason”.

Oh if the gods the power would give us, to see ourselves as others see us”.

SMH : Since the disappearance, conspiracy theorists have been busy trying to solve the mystery themselves

I wonder why they (all 19,513,305 looking at the humble PPRuNe) would bother; when we have Martin, he of beyond all reason, showing the way. Industry simply says “it’s beyond all reason”. No, it’s all good with Guru Beacur leading the way and guiding a happy, clappy crew of expert accident investigators to Nirvana….Mind you, it’s not that they’ll do very many, what with the cost of essential ‘admin’ to juggle and all.

SMH : It’s because you’ve got this big mystery and everyone wants to know the answer and everyone wants to help. It’s unhelpful, for the sake of the families more than anything else, in the sense that it has the potential to undermine confidence in what we are doing,” he says.

Well, that’s fair. What with Martin, being such a bloody Whizz bang, highly qualified investigator – it’s just an insult to a fine, instigative mind to have these tendentious bloggers ‘assisting’. ‘Amateur’ experts; are, like Annexe 13, surplus to requirements; and with such a gifted, qualified investigator at the helm, tendentious ‘bloggers’ – and all associated riff raff need not apply.

SMH – The Boeing 777 vanished with 239 people on board en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing in March. There has been no sign of it since.

Finally – truth and reality in one small; but, oh so sweet paragraph. Bravo.

SMH : He opts for the spaghetti alla carbonara and I choose the tortellini di zucca.

And you managed to keep it down?. Oh, well done that leading light of journalistic clap trap.

SMH: Commitment to the public service has been a consistent feature of his life.

“True dat” edit …Commitment to the public service, and only the public service has been a consistent feature of his life.

SMH – The position marked the start of 35 years in the Commonwealth public service, in which he has added various corporate management roles, including chief executive of Comcare and Chief Finance Officer in the Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry.

Which, of course is why he is so well equipped to lead a crack team of clerical staff to assist; this, despite the 200 year deficiency in ‘accident’ investigations skills; no matter. Bea-cur will come through with swimming colours, once again. Just as he did in the Pel Air inquiry – covered in glory, the praises of the Senate ringing in his heroic ears and the total, complete and utter support of the aviation industry which, by the by, cannot say enough good things about this doyen of safety, this pillar of the beyond all ducking reason model for accident investigation.

Aye. No doubt the MH 370 families will sleep much better now, knowing that Beacur can manage ‘spaghetti”; the fish balls were (of course) – imported from Norfolk Island, in commemoration of the outstanding efforts, made on behalf of air safety.

SMH : “I had a moment of revelation in front of a high school English class in Coffs Harbour as I did practice teaching. I looked at them, they looked at me and we realised this was never going to work,” Dolan says.

What a Déjà vu moment, as history repeats; like a bad prawn. The music? – Oh, that’s ‘Believe it, if you like’: played by the public service string quartet (conducted by?) yes; you guessed it – Our hero.

Sorry boys and girls; I have to stop here, can’t type more, for the tears. Whether they be of laughter (only slightly hysterical); or, of sorrow (for those lost at sea) is uncertain. But, such is life; and, I may add, life is such. I belive I could go on, to the end of the SMH offering, but reality calls and tempus fugit (not to mention tempers).

Dinner Minnie and get that bloody cat off my chair.

How do you spell genius? – Ayup, Guinness is correct. Where’s my Choc frog…?…

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Addendum – ‘Ode to Dolan err…’