Mum, why do I glow in the dark?

19 Apr

Back in the day; just after WW2 the Australian government actively encouraged all manner of aviation, realising that the sun burnt country, particularly ‘the bush’ would benefit from such activity. Alas, times have changed and from being a supported, vibrant, useful industry aviation has, through a series of downward steps become more of nuisance, than an asset. That history is easily and readily defined. The realisation that great power was to be had by riding on the magic carpet of ‘safety’; the mystique and ‘glamour’ surrounding aviation, air travel and keeping the travellers safe not only provided surety, but guaranteed power. So how have we descended from the heady days when men of good will and intentions built an industry, through to being seen as a cash cow, to the present state of being regulated and priced out of business, is a good question. But why? – is a much better one.

To answer that question we must look toward the splendid present day benefits to be gained by eradicating the aviation industry. Take Bankstown as an example. The first thing to realise is the wonderful benefits to the people who have family homes near airports; the absence of aircraft noise will greatly increase the property values, just for a start. The peace and tranquillity generated by a massive freight hub with hundreds of heavy trucks using the depot, operating 24/7, not to mention the traffic congestion is a wonderful thing. You can add another a huge shopping complex, and another two, or perhaps three thousand new neighbours to enhance the ambience of river side suburb. This is all so much better than those noisy aircraft. – But wait, there’s more – in a truly worthy, cost efficient plan of Machiavellian cunning, the ‘powers that be’ have solved three problems.

You see, covering the existing aerodromes with a fresh, clean, newly developed radio active/ asbestos conglomerate land fill solves a toxic waste disposal problem, this not only keeps the local water melons happy as the stuff is no longer near ‘their’ place; but saves those who must remove and transport it away a small fortune – so, that’s all to the good.

But the truly remarkable part (and this’ll knock your socks off) is that when your place floods, because the ancient flood plain has been removed, you don’t have to worry about the kids floating away as food for sharks. Your caring local council has done a great deal on surplus pink bats, bought truck loads of them. These will be distributed through school, one per child, so the little blighters can float about all day during times of flood. But wait – there’s even more; not only can the kids float all day, but, they can do so quite safely at night. The radio active material will ensure that your child glows in the dark and will be easily located, should the little tyke stray from the flooded back yard. Wait for the TV ads, they’re brilliant.

The benevolent developers of the now redundant, ex airport land will post exclusive video coverage of happy little groups of children on their pink bat floaties, glowing blue and green as backdrop to another great shopping mall being built on a large expanse of that green stuff. They believe this is called ‘grass’, but assure us they will have their excellent legal department confirm this for you. It has after all managed to confirm everything else.

We really need to identify the modest government employed brokers of these splendid deals and the kindly entrepreneurs who, for no profit, are, selflessly prepared to undertake this great task of decimating an industry and providing a brand new shopping mall and blocks of high rise residencies to supply the generous super markets with lots of new customers. Ain’t that great?

There now, don’t you feel better. Oh, and folks, don’t forget to claim your part of the one billion dollar profit, the developers are always happy to share. There’s even a free holiday on offer at Uncle Bob’s farm in green, clean New Zealand. To win, just answer a simple question – “What does big Mac and Golden parachutes mean to you?

We all must hope that Archerfield fails in it’s attempt to ward off the righteous developers; so it too can be converted and enjoy the benefits of the greed creed.

Sponsored by the IOS chapter supporting Feral Unlimited Covetous Knavery – Unchallenged -:

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