All well and good – BUT. Would he last a night in the Pub?
There's a lot of folk who would read the epistle above and believe it; for some of it is 'ridgy-didge' – he fails, entirely to 'get' the humour of the bush or; the subtle ways we have of not telling anyone what not to. For example, sticking a paw down a hole. Who, in their right minds, would want to do such a thing, in any land on this planet? Even in the most gentle lands, unless you really want what is down a hole in the dirt; why would you attempt such folly – try doing it in Badger's set, in non venomous England – you'd be ordering to pints and a half on finger count, in a heartbeat.
Snakes, well 'if you walk quietly' and leave 'em room to slither off – particularly when they are 'sun-baking' – they will amble away without the slightest concern. However; a guaranteed (not mentioned) heart stopper can be found on your next visit to a Queensland 'dunny' – Green frogs. They love the porcelain, the cool water, the insects and the dark shady conditions. I still to this day remember the hysterics of a fairly sophisticated passenger who, desperate, spent (or tried to) a penny in an airport 'loo'. The totally harmless frog popped up for as look-see at the 'eclipse – hilarious; I'll say no more; but it took the best part of 36 hours for her to regain some 'sang-froid'.
Sticks; now they are a different world. The local's carry 'em to knock down hives, fruit, and all manner of 'bush tucker' – handy things to have – they almost guarantee a warm fire every night and a way to cook the day's catch. Oh, and by-the-by, despite the popular belief that a 'Boomerang' will come back is bollocks. It ain't supposed to return 'empty handed'. It is designed the 'kill' or stun – and it needs some skill to master. Miss the one shot of the day – then it's berry's and roots for dinner – hit the target – Chops all around – meat, once a week is a very good batting average.
This fellah makes a fortune selling this crap; sat in a club wearing a Plum coloured smoking jacket, over weight, overpaid and peddling his arrogant dribble to unsuspecting kids who want to see the world in reality. Australia is a hard, harsh land away from the fleshpots of Bondi and the brothels of Melbourne. Why not talk about those on the land who can, through necessity, fix a tractor with 8 gauge fence wire; breed a horse, break it to saddle or plough and take care of it's illness; or, of those who survive and prosper despite the odds. The wanker may sell books – faerie stories to entice children – but he fails, utterly to 'understand this wide, brown land. So he can shove his 'stick' and spiders - where the sun don't shine. Amen. L&K Troo Bloo ridgey didge Ozzie.
There's a lot of folk who would read the epistle above and believe it; for some of it is 'ridgy-didge' – he fails, entirely to 'get' the humour of the bush or; the subtle ways we have of not telling anyone what not to. For example, sticking a paw down a hole. Who, in their right minds, would want to do such a thing, in any land on this planet? Even in the most gentle lands, unless you really want what is down a hole in the dirt; why would you attempt such folly – try doing it in Badger's set, in non venomous England – you'd be ordering to pints and a half on finger count, in a heartbeat.
Snakes, well 'if you walk quietly' and leave 'em room to slither off – particularly when they are 'sun-baking' – they will amble away without the slightest concern. However; a guaranteed (not mentioned) heart stopper can be found on your next visit to a Queensland 'dunny' – Green frogs. They love the porcelain, the cool water, the insects and the dark shady conditions. I still to this day remember the hysterics of a fairly sophisticated passenger who, desperate, spent (or tried to) a penny in an airport 'loo'. The totally harmless frog popped up for as look-see at the 'eclipse – hilarious; I'll say no more; but it took the best part of 36 hours for her to regain some 'sang-froid'.
Sticks; now they are a different world. The local's carry 'em to knock down hives, fruit, and all manner of 'bush tucker' – handy things to have – they almost guarantee a warm fire every night and a way to cook the day's catch. Oh, and by-the-by, despite the popular belief that a 'Boomerang' will come back is bollocks. It ain't supposed to return 'empty handed'. It is designed the 'kill' or stun – and it needs some skill to master. Miss the one shot of the day – then it's berry's and roots for dinner – hit the target – Chops all around – meat, once a week is a very good batting average.
This fellah makes a fortune selling this crap; sat in a club wearing a Plum coloured smoking jacket, over weight, overpaid and peddling his arrogant dribble to unsuspecting kids who want to see the world in reality. Australia is a hard, harsh land away from the fleshpots of Bondi and the brothels of Melbourne. Why not talk about those on the land who can, through necessity, fix a tractor with 8 gauge fence wire; breed a horse, break it to saddle or plough and take care of it's illness; or, of those who survive and prosper despite the odds. The wanker may sell books – faerie stories to entice children – but he fails, utterly to 'understand this wide, brown land. So he can shove his 'stick' and spiders - where the sun don't shine. Amen. L&K Troo Bloo ridgey didge Ozzie.