[Peetwo]

The winner is:-

P-362436 won the prized Tim Tam; closest to a word perfect repeat of the ATSB report in a close run competition.  The following was almost letter perfect in no less than 30 out of 40 entries. Although the semi illiterate drafting and grammatical faux-pas were difficult to replicate, many managed it. Bravo - CF all around.

The safety issue identified during this investigation is listed in the Findings and Safety issues and actions sections of this report. The ATSB expects that all safety issues identified by the investigation should be addressed by the relevant organisation(s). In addressing those issues, the ATSB prefers to encourage relevant organisation(s) to proactively initiate safety action, rather than to issue formal safety recommendations or safety advisory notices.

Now read that again - as an exercise in English and logic.  Then weep.
   
It is unanimous that the above paragraph could have been generated in three minutes which would have saved three years of resources being allocated.  

There you go Greg, 3.4 days off a week, 0.6 day for coffee and chats; 0.5 to sign off on the boiler-plate paragraphs provided, then the weekend is your own, to do with as pleases you best.  Great new job mate; enjoy.

JFHCOAC.

P2 edit - in case this was missed...