What, a day off? - on the water? Yes please.
Patience, good Gobbledock; we shall have our adventure. However a pleasant couple of days on the houseboat seems a first class idea, we shall talk of cabbages and kings and whether the sea is boiling hot or whether pigs have wings. P2 has even adopted a blue whale. Gods know what we’ll see if he can cross it with his beloved pachyderm – it don’t bear thinking on. Even so, we may discuss such weighty matters over amber nectar and Min’s steak and kidney puddin’, while we await the auditors report.
‘Untin wiv ferrets’ is a time honoured poachers tradition, steeped in legal legend. You see if a ‘wild’ thing, kills another wild thing, them with ‘wigs and beaks’ can’t blame you for that, which rules out deportation to the Antipodes. You may be fined for picking up a carcass, but to prove ‘intent’ is tough, trespass if you are unlucky (or, the beak didn’t get a pheasant or fish); but that's it. You see dear boy, it all comes down to the terms of reference used.
Now, an audit restricted to the biscuit tin contents may or may not show that the tea lady had a favourite; or, that there was a tea leaf in the office; an ordered audit of the pencil cupboard will reveal the same result, with greater clarity (a check of on desk equipment or the kids paint box will quickly identify the culprit). Same-same the audit of ASA: who owns the ferret and where have the pencils gone? This does not take us into the realms of company or corporate sticky fingers. To mount a major scam there needs to be a ‘team’ effort; that, or one man funnelling off one cent in every dollar. Team effort achieves most; ergo, given the penchant of people to ‘chat’, a scam on a grand scale needs associated people, if it is to be plausibly denied.
So, to the ‘audit’. We need to look at the Terms of Reference (ToR) issued to the auditors. Checking the biscuit tin and finding no anomalies does not mean the pencils are safe. An audit which cannot check both is not only nugatory, but it takes the Mickey Bliss. Either way, a tightly controlled, narrow focus audit of the ASA will not reveal very much.
The problem, as I see it is that there is much known from anecdote by the Estimates committee and they would love to get ‘stuck in’ to proving the hearsay (heresy if you will), but with the auditors on a short leash, Merdek on full alert and the self protection alarum ringing, they're on a hiding to nothing.
No matter, we shall, good GD, discuss these and other matters, pertaining to sleight of hand as we sit at anchor, parked in deck chairs, cigars and ale at hand, watching a glorious moon rise as the pies cook. But if I start barking, promise me, you’ll not start baying.
Toot toot mate, enjoy Easter as best you may.
PS. Ferrets do not; despite rumour to the contrary, bite the hand that feeds 'em....
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Patience, good Gobbledock; we shall have our adventure. However a pleasant couple of days on the houseboat seems a first class idea, we shall talk of cabbages and kings and whether the sea is boiling hot or whether pigs have wings. P2 has even adopted a blue whale. Gods know what we’ll see if he can cross it with his beloved pachyderm – it don’t bear thinking on. Even so, we may discuss such weighty matters over amber nectar and Min’s steak and kidney puddin’, while we await the auditors report.
‘Untin wiv ferrets’ is a time honoured poachers tradition, steeped in legal legend. You see if a ‘wild’ thing, kills another wild thing, them with ‘wigs and beaks’ can’t blame you for that, which rules out deportation to the Antipodes. You may be fined for picking up a carcass, but to prove ‘intent’ is tough, trespass if you are unlucky (or, the beak didn’t get a pheasant or fish); but that's it. You see dear boy, it all comes down to the terms of reference used.
Now, an audit restricted to the biscuit tin contents may or may not show that the tea lady had a favourite; or, that there was a tea leaf in the office; an ordered audit of the pencil cupboard will reveal the same result, with greater clarity (a check of on desk equipment or the kids paint box will quickly identify the culprit). Same-same the audit of ASA: who owns the ferret and where have the pencils gone? This does not take us into the realms of company or corporate sticky fingers. To mount a major scam there needs to be a ‘team’ effort; that, or one man funnelling off one cent in every dollar. Team effort achieves most; ergo, given the penchant of people to ‘chat’, a scam on a grand scale needs associated people, if it is to be plausibly denied.
So, to the ‘audit’. We need to look at the Terms of Reference (ToR) issued to the auditors. Checking the biscuit tin and finding no anomalies does not mean the pencils are safe. An audit which cannot check both is not only nugatory, but it takes the Mickey Bliss. Either way, a tightly controlled, narrow focus audit of the ASA will not reveal very much.
The problem, as I see it is that there is much known from anecdote by the Estimates committee and they would love to get ‘stuck in’ to proving the hearsay (heresy if you will), but with the auditors on a short leash, Merdek on full alert and the self protection alarum ringing, they're on a hiding to nothing.
No matter, we shall, good GD, discuss these and other matters, pertaining to sleight of hand as we sit at anchor, parked in deck chairs, cigars and ale at hand, watching a glorious moon rise as the pies cook. But if I start barking, promise me, you’ll not start baying.
Toot toot mate, enjoy Easter as best you may.
PS. Ferrets do not; despite rumour to the contrary, bite the hand that feeds 'em....
..