'Roll Up, roll up:
For an autographed, Hi-Viz jock strap with 'Courage' embroidered on the pocket – answer 10 bloody fool questions to win a personal 'fitting up' (touch up extra).
“Why?” - Asks the slightly bemused crowd.
Well boys and girls – the WWWW from WW is having to answer some pretty awkward questions. He's been neck deep in Shitter's Ditch since the almost unbelievable debacle of Angel Flight ('cept it was believable) then there's the SOAR/RA Oz bun fight all being looked at by a Senate Committee. So – given the ATSB skills with 'statistics' a survey is a cunning plan. Making numbers jump through hoops is an ATSB party trick; the 'statistical facts' from your wasting 10 minutes responding will reflect a glowing industry report of 'delight' in the Hooded Canary's version of investigative probity and analytical clarity – not to mention the great safety ideas generated after every event.
Take heart and bathe in the reflected glory of the Ross Air, Air North, Virgin ATR saga, Mangalore, Essendon DFO to mention but a few of the 80 odd reports reviewed for no constructive result.
Perhaps Hoody's wardrobe mistress could find three golden parachutes; one for each of the top dogs at ATSB and help them to the exit with the Industry approved S10 B method of persuasion. (S10B – Size 10 Boot works like a charm).
1. Please identify the transport sector(s) you are primarily involved with or interested in:
No – I am an aviator and rely on a broad range of information, from all sectors to keep me informed.
2. Which best describes your employer / employment situation in relation to your interest or involvement with the ATSB?
Now why would you need to know that? I belong to a diverse industry, have held positions in all manner of operations and depend on current, valid safety reports to update my approach to safety.
3. How would you rate your overall knowledge of the ATSB?
Extensive – down to the last outfit in the company wardrobe.
4. How well do you recall ATSB safety messaging relevant to your industry over the past 12 months?
What bloody safety messages. There's a lot of arse covering information – but sweet bugger all of value to a working airman.
5. Where have you received or sourced information from the ATSB over the past 12 months? (Select multiple if required)
Someone usually finds the odd three year in the making report and puts on social media –just for the laughs you understand. We like the pictures of Hood looking wind-swept and interesting best. The MH 370 crowd use the soft print version for personal hygiene. Great value....
6. How would you rate the technical standards of ATSB investigation reports?
Stellar – for pure simplicity. E.g. Two aircraft banged together in cloud, crashed and burned, killing four. What more need to be said? Why bother ASA and upset the million dollar Halfwit with unsettling questions like 'how in the seven hell's did this happen'? Or God's forbid some sort of rational airspace system be brought on line. Or, question the ADSB impost and ask why Halfwit's One big Pie is already out of date, late and not worth a Tinker's cuss. Yep; outstanding, the NTSB must be beating down the doors to gain this level of 'technical excellence'.
7. How would you rate the credibility and relevance of ATSB investigation reports?
Well, good question. The tea lady actually can read the tea leafs, my Grand Mamma is a whizz with the old Tarot pack and Uncle Jack's trick knee is always bang-on when it come to fishing. ATSB credibility pales in comparison; and, for relevance, I always ask the hanger cat's opinion. So the complete lack of ATSB credibility or indeed relevance is a nugatory question in the face of such sage advice from trusted sources.
8. What mediums or channels do you prefer using to learn why an occurrence happened, and our safety messaging? (Select multiple if required)
Mediums, as mentioned above are the preferred option; when industry folk, connected to reality, can't puzzle out what happened about three years ahead of the ATSB soothsayers. Mediums are cheaper, more convenient and will answer a question almost immediately. We could save some money if ATSB just stopped publishing – well anything other than your weekly Horoscope and Lotto numbers. That at least could be taken seriously – Godley's statistical pick for next week – that'll work.
9. What would you like us to do more of or start doing?
Leave the building in good order, depart quietly and DO NOT startle the horses; there's good chaps.
10. If you have any constructive comments about our performance, how we communicate or how we can improve, please let us know below:
Aye well, I've tried to help 'em; waste of wind and time I know – but you see I remember a time when ATSB (BASI) was a good as any and a lot better than most. It shames this nation to witness a public relations based, ministerial cats paw and CASA catamite continue to embarrass a once proud reputation for excellence in accident investigation. Lockhart River broke their hearts; the MoU destroyed them – the rest is history.
Selah.
For an autographed, Hi-Viz jock strap with 'Courage' embroidered on the pocket – answer 10 bloody fool questions to win a personal 'fitting up' (touch up extra).
“Why?” - Asks the slightly bemused crowd.
Well boys and girls – the WWWW from WW is having to answer some pretty awkward questions. He's been neck deep in Shitter's Ditch since the almost unbelievable debacle of Angel Flight ('cept it was believable) then there's the SOAR/RA Oz bun fight all being looked at by a Senate Committee. So – given the ATSB skills with 'statistics' a survey is a cunning plan. Making numbers jump through hoops is an ATSB party trick; the 'statistical facts' from your wasting 10 minutes responding will reflect a glowing industry report of 'delight' in the Hooded Canary's version of investigative probity and analytical clarity – not to mention the great safety ideas generated after every event.
Take heart and bathe in the reflected glory of the Ross Air, Air North, Virgin ATR saga, Mangalore, Essendon DFO to mention but a few of the 80 odd reports reviewed for no constructive result.
Perhaps Hoody's wardrobe mistress could find three golden parachutes; one for each of the top dogs at ATSB and help them to the exit with the Industry approved S10 B method of persuasion. (S10B – Size 10 Boot works like a charm).
1. Please identify the transport sector(s) you are primarily involved with or interested in:
No – I am an aviator and rely on a broad range of information, from all sectors to keep me informed.
2. Which best describes your employer / employment situation in relation to your interest or involvement with the ATSB?
Now why would you need to know that? I belong to a diverse industry, have held positions in all manner of operations and depend on current, valid safety reports to update my approach to safety.
3. How would you rate your overall knowledge of the ATSB?
Extensive – down to the last outfit in the company wardrobe.
4. How well do you recall ATSB safety messaging relevant to your industry over the past 12 months?
What bloody safety messages. There's a lot of arse covering information – but sweet bugger all of value to a working airman.
5. Where have you received or sourced information from the ATSB over the past 12 months? (Select multiple if required)
Someone usually finds the odd three year in the making report and puts on social media –just for the laughs you understand. We like the pictures of Hood looking wind-swept and interesting best. The MH 370 crowd use the soft print version for personal hygiene. Great value....
6. How would you rate the technical standards of ATSB investigation reports?
Stellar – for pure simplicity. E.g. Two aircraft banged together in cloud, crashed and burned, killing four. What more need to be said? Why bother ASA and upset the million dollar Halfwit with unsettling questions like 'how in the seven hell's did this happen'? Or God's forbid some sort of rational airspace system be brought on line. Or, question the ADSB impost and ask why Halfwit's One big Pie is already out of date, late and not worth a Tinker's cuss. Yep; outstanding, the NTSB must be beating down the doors to gain this level of 'technical excellence'.
7. How would you rate the credibility and relevance of ATSB investigation reports?
Well, good question. The tea lady actually can read the tea leafs, my Grand Mamma is a whizz with the old Tarot pack and Uncle Jack's trick knee is always bang-on when it come to fishing. ATSB credibility pales in comparison; and, for relevance, I always ask the hanger cat's opinion. So the complete lack of ATSB credibility or indeed relevance is a nugatory question in the face of such sage advice from trusted sources.
8. What mediums or channels do you prefer using to learn why an occurrence happened, and our safety messaging? (Select multiple if required)
Mediums, as mentioned above are the preferred option; when industry folk, connected to reality, can't puzzle out what happened about three years ahead of the ATSB soothsayers. Mediums are cheaper, more convenient and will answer a question almost immediately. We could save some money if ATSB just stopped publishing – well anything other than your weekly Horoscope and Lotto numbers. That at least could be taken seriously – Godley's statistical pick for next week – that'll work.
9. What would you like us to do more of or start doing?
Leave the building in good order, depart quietly and DO NOT startle the horses; there's good chaps.
10. If you have any constructive comments about our performance, how we communicate or how we can improve, please let us know below:
Aye well, I've tried to help 'em; waste of wind and time I know – but you see I remember a time when ATSB (BASI) was a good as any and a lot better than most. It shames this nation to witness a public relations based, ministerial cats paw and CASA catamite continue to embarrass a once proud reputation for excellence in accident investigation. Lockhart River broke their hearts; the MoU destroyed them – the rest is history.
Selah.