Of top 10 clients, pineapples and red ties
Indeed some interesting snippets starting to eek out from tonight's senate party in Can'tberra. I can't wait to see the journalistic style breakdown from P2, Ben and 'that man' over the coming days
Firstly, Mr Harfields 'power tie' failed! The red tie didn't help him ooze power and authority. Oh no, it was more like a red rag to a bull. The good Senators were the bull, and they charged him and gouged him with skill. In fact it was more like Spain's running with the bulls because there were a few of the ASA crew on the run, trying to escape the Senators gouging, Logan included. In fact Harfield and Logan stammered and stuttered like our super sleuth Beaker does! Perhaps the three of them will bring out a Muppet Xmas album in December?
Secondly, I've never heard a bigger load of shite in all my life from a CEO. If that is the best ASA can do then we are truly in deep shit (no, not dipshit, I said deep shit). Mad ramblings about CAPEX, world class safety, transparency blah blah puke blah. Total folly. And watch out ASA workforce, your new boss wants to squeeze an extra pint of blood out of you in an effort to stem the organisations profit dip! Perhaps he should start with overpaid consultants, executive salaries and obscene bonuses within an organisation that can't manage it's money even though it is a monopoly!
Thirdly, then came the waffle we were all expecting in regards to those 'classified' documents. Herr Harfield came out with the old chestnut - 'they were DRAFT Board minutes', not the final document. Of course they were Jason, no doubt you will produce a final version that is completely different to the draft version, yes? And where was Frau Staib? What about An(g)us, where was he, off flogging water to Canadians or conducting an orchestral symphony with Andrea Rieu or perhaps Metallica? No big surprise in the fact that An(g)us was hiding as usual, it's what he does best!
Fourthly, "top 10 clients"! Harfield seemed a little stuck with that one and attempted to throw to Mr Logan's Run. They all stumbled along and didn't know how to answer because their top 10 clients are in fact their own executives salaries and bonuses! Priorities boys and girls priorities!
And finally we had the mention of AuntyPru and the 'draft Board document', we shall call this 'AuntyPru-gate'. If the document was just a silly draft and not the finished product, why bother calling in Officer Plod to investigate? Aren't the AFP also operating on a shoestring budget? Is the investigation a wise use of taxpayer money considering the perilous state of the Australian economy, so they keep telling us? Haven't the AFP got better things to do such as chasing down rogue towel heads like Man Monis, drinking coffee in our international terminal coffee shops or nailing naughty ASA Managers for fraudulent activities?
I believe the excitement around the AuntyPru document is easily explained - During an apple bobbing session in a taxpayer trough one of ASA's execs left the document beside the trough. So many trough delights were consumed that a bloated executive passed some turgid rectal gas and the force of the emission blew the paperwork down the isle from Row 1A to the cattle class section on the business class flight to Montreal. An off duty Journo, or perhaps a mascara wearing male flight attendant then mailed said document to the offices of AuntyPru, disguised as toilet paper! Eventually said paper was used appropriately!
Anyway, will leave it at that for now, we haven't even started discussing Dick's superb work, utterly priceless!
Can't wait to see the rest of the notes from Hands-hard once it has been transcribed!
Gobbles
Addendum for 'K';
(Has Hoody been crook? Not his usual self, perhaps a bad Mochito at the toga party).
Quite possibly yes in regards to the mochito, but old mate had a heart operation a few weeks ago so that might explain why his spark was missing. Most likely he has a sick note from the doctor which says 'no robust debate with Senators, no toga parties and no looking at firemen calendars for 12 weeks'.
Rest up Hoody and get well soon. Gobbles and the boys are rooting for you, so to speak.
Indeed some interesting snippets starting to eek out from tonight's senate party in Can'tberra. I can't wait to see the journalistic style breakdown from P2, Ben and 'that man' over the coming days
Firstly, Mr Harfields 'power tie' failed! The red tie didn't help him ooze power and authority. Oh no, it was more like a red rag to a bull. The good Senators were the bull, and they charged him and gouged him with skill. In fact it was more like Spain's running with the bulls because there were a few of the ASA crew on the run, trying to escape the Senators gouging, Logan included. In fact Harfield and Logan stammered and stuttered like our super sleuth Beaker does! Perhaps the three of them will bring out a Muppet Xmas album in December?
Secondly, I've never heard a bigger load of shite in all my life from a CEO. If that is the best ASA can do then we are truly in deep shit (no, not dipshit, I said deep shit). Mad ramblings about CAPEX, world class safety, transparency blah blah puke blah. Total folly. And watch out ASA workforce, your new boss wants to squeeze an extra pint of blood out of you in an effort to stem the organisations profit dip! Perhaps he should start with overpaid consultants, executive salaries and obscene bonuses within an organisation that can't manage it's money even though it is a monopoly!
Thirdly, then came the waffle we were all expecting in regards to those 'classified' documents. Herr Harfield came out with the old chestnut - 'they were DRAFT Board minutes', not the final document. Of course they were Jason, no doubt you will produce a final version that is completely different to the draft version, yes? And where was Frau Staib? What about An(g)us, where was he, off flogging water to Canadians or conducting an orchestral symphony with Andrea Rieu or perhaps Metallica? No big surprise in the fact that An(g)us was hiding as usual, it's what he does best!
Fourthly, "top 10 clients"! Harfield seemed a little stuck with that one and attempted to throw to Mr Logan's Run. They all stumbled along and didn't know how to answer because their top 10 clients are in fact their own executives salaries and bonuses! Priorities boys and girls priorities!
And finally we had the mention of AuntyPru and the 'draft Board document', we shall call this 'AuntyPru-gate'. If the document was just a silly draft and not the finished product, why bother calling in Officer Plod to investigate? Aren't the AFP also operating on a shoestring budget? Is the investigation a wise use of taxpayer money considering the perilous state of the Australian economy, so they keep telling us? Haven't the AFP got better things to do such as chasing down rogue towel heads like Man Monis, drinking coffee in our international terminal coffee shops or nailing naughty ASA Managers for fraudulent activities?
I believe the excitement around the AuntyPru document is easily explained - During an apple bobbing session in a taxpayer trough one of ASA's execs left the document beside the trough. So many trough delights were consumed that a bloated executive passed some turgid rectal gas and the force of the emission blew the paperwork down the isle from Row 1A to the cattle class section on the business class flight to Montreal. An off duty Journo, or perhaps a mascara wearing male flight attendant then mailed said document to the offices of AuntyPru, disguised as toilet paper! Eventually said paper was used appropriately!
Anyway, will leave it at that for now, we haven't even started discussing Dick's superb work, utterly priceless!
Can't wait to see the rest of the notes from Hands-hard once it has been transcribed!
Gobbles
Addendum for 'K';
(Has Hoody been crook? Not his usual self, perhaps a bad Mochito at the toga party).
Quite possibly yes in regards to the mochito, but old mate had a heart operation a few weeks ago so that might explain why his spark was missing. Most likely he has a sick note from the doctor which says 'no robust debate with Senators, no toga parties and no looking at firemen calendars for 12 weeks'.
Rest up Hoody and get well soon. Gobbles and the boys are rooting for you, so to speak.