The cautionary tale of Oliver Skidmore-Twist.

31 May

Post Implementation Review my arse. Watch and listen to Cross, tick and Wait waffle on while Skidmore, looking about as comfortable as a Christian in a lions den (which he was), supports the piffle. Skidmore is not a stupid man, but he’s not street smart. Isolated by a privileged very sheltered background; he brings to mind the Dickens character, Oliver Twist. Clueless, in a big bad world, where Fagin and his boys fool him every time and our boy ain’t even met big, bad Bill Sykes yet. An orphan with just about enough nouse to realise they are pulling his chain, he just don’t know who, why or which way. If you know the tale (not the dreadful musical) you’ll be aware of what happened to poor orphan Oliver when he asked for more.

I challenged Hitch to take Part 61 away and read the wretched thing; then write an operations manual for a mixed fleet, do the costing and make it work. I’ll challenge Skidmore to do the same. Then, having done what any half decent Chief pilot could do, examine the ‘law’ for the hang-mans nooses, those which can and will be used, as and when pleases, by any CASA bully boy on a mission of destruction. Skidmore needs to do this, then perhaps he can elevate his understanding level beyond that of a private pilot. He won’t do it of course; he could not start with a blank sheet of paper and develop a ‘compliant’ (acceptable/ approved) manual suite, bull it through the CASA version of compliance and get an operation ‘up and running’. He wouldn’t know where to start, let alone how to finish. But to be an effective director he needs to be able to do this, as this is what he, under the control of the Casamites, is expecting industry to do. (Grim chuckle), maybe Wodger could teach him to cut, paste, tick and flick.

The next item which attracted howls of Bollocks was the pleading for more ‘feed back’ again, just like Oliver bloody Twist – more, more, more. Industry should robustly respond – Go away. Bugger off and do your flaming homework. READ the submissions to the Forsyth review, then READ the Forsyth review, then READ the responses to that review; then READ the stated government policy on drafting legislation. To save some time READ the NZ or PNG part 61 or even the FAA part 61. But FCOL READ something based on practical, workable, comprehensive law and stop messing about, playing for more time; it’s a dead horse, no point to flogging the poor beast.

Here’s some tips for any aspiring Part 61 proponent. When you have satisfactorily’ completed all the above tasks, then come back and swan about as ‘director’, visiting ‘selected’ tame operators; maybe then the little light will come on. But until you have, you are just another expensive dumb arse with NFI, keeping the seat warm until we can find some one with real life experience and balls to produce the demanded changes. Running with the hares and hunting with the hounds can only end one way. Pick a side, neutrals just get mown down in a no prisoners contest.

Item next – This BOLLOCKS about the way the Commonwealth draft the regulations, now it’s the drafters fault. NO IT IS NOT. More home work. You could save some of your time and our money by READING the responses to Forsyth: all there (lots of). They are, for the most part from industry experts, in black white and mostly writ in plain English, who must work with the rubbish Tick, Cross and Waite are foisting on industry. But to put your name on the duplicitous, scurrilous statement, blaming the drafters of legislation for the CASA inbred duck cluster not only shames, but insults industry.

Even Damocles and his wee sword could not cut through the Gordian knot CASA has tied around the package of dross, the pony-pooh referred to as CASR Part 61. If you haven’t got the brains to cut through it; then have the balls to bin it.

Aye much to learn has young master Oliver Skidmore, for he is but a babe; lost, cold and very alone in the deep, dark woods of Sleepy Hollow.

“Turn him to any cause of policy,
The Gordian Knot of it he will unloose,
Familiar as his garter”

No, no steam, just over it. It was fine for Nero to fiddle, but he wasn’t the poor bastard trying to piss on the flames, was he?

Toot toot

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