Of Gabfests and suchlike.

12 Sep

Sunday, time to spare, will I spend it at one of the many, many gabfests our public servants and ‘associates’ seem to enjoy?  It’s not as though we are short of choice; there’s lots of ways to waste your time:-

Safeskies is always a good one.  A multi handed, carefully scripted and directed public service strop-a-thon.  Look at the line up, with ‘Dougy’ and Creepy’ slobbering in the wings, busting to print the latest load of crap, fluff and puff about a system which has been made into a total shambles and international joke, by those whose words they lust after for printing.  “Training for change” eh.  Duck me – training takes time, but first there must be a program and people qualified to teach it.  Are we short of those? – you bet your boots we are.  No worries, it’s all porridge and promises, anyway

Annex 19 has been ‘live’ for three years – you may not have detected the subtle changes in the way the ATSB does business; in case you wonder why and worry you are thick; don’t, the answer is very simple; there ain’t any – unless you count retrograde, retrospective, useless non reports, three to five year old as ‘advancement’.  20 pages of registered ICAO differences confirms this new, modern thinking as the way to go.  Thank you Beaker.

The Ansett lecture to be delivered by A Houstoblame; expert in flim-flam, problem transference and snake oil manufacture.  Preaching to a like minded audience of converts.  Tambourines and song sheets optional extras.

Then, wait for it; wait (drum roll)– we  have ‘the’ architects of the current unholy mess, masters of abrogation, directors spin, the doyens of delay, overlords of obfuscation, (tada) –  Halfwit, Merde’k and Skidmore-Twist. (cue cheering crowd)  Preaching to a like minded audience of converts.  Tambourines and song sheets optional extras.

Top that off with the ‘emeritus’ Boyd. (of the former holder of an office, especially a university professor, having retired but allowed to retain their title as an honour).  What a very grand title, what sublime arrogance – what a load of old pony-pooh.  Tambourines and song sheets optional extras.

Quote:“That’s my personal view. If everyone who goes to a Safeskies conference takes away from it just one thing that’s useful in their appreciation of the need for ¬aviation safety, Safeskies has done a good job.’’

What a load of Cobblers – that’s my personal view.   My helpful suggestion? Oh, that’s easy: stick it where the sun don’t shine.

However. Should you decide that the rarefied atmosphere of the internationally ignored ‘Safe-Skies’ is too much ‘excitement’; then, (if you can time travel and kiss arse), you may just catch yet another of the DAS road-show, tent revivals in a village near you (that sort of thing).  You can even assist in the delay of meaningful  reform by attending; you see, the DAS ‘needs’ to ‘talk’ with us (nothing to do with travel allowance).  Why?, well the submissions to Forsyth contain some words with more than four letters and cannot; not possibly, be read, comprehended and taken ‘on-board’.  Anyway the Forsyth review was only ‘a view’ and must be verified; and, whatever the silly Senators said about CASA and Pel-Air was just so much spite; generated by a disgruntled minority.  Glad you got it.  We all have to be very good, first help, then wait; and, the time space continuum permitting; turn up to be told the oft repeated message.  “Didn’t happen on my watch.”  “No, it did not, therefore it’s irrelevant, until you prove that it all happened on ‘my watch’ – “I’ll report in about 2030”.  “Then, perhaps, after that, I’ll do something”.  “Yes, I may, eventually, even shut the fuck up and actually do something – maybe”.  Unit returned to the officers mess as the mess it arrived in, slightly singed.  A shame to a fine service.

Ayup; plenty to see and much to do with your Sunday.  If non of this suits, you can of course always pen a lengthy, equitable, balanced, expert submission and send it off the DPM Truss; that always works a treat; a real Sunday treat.

Recalcitrant? Incorrigible?  Who, me? – Nah, just pissed off with endless waffle and complete lack of action – no matter; I’ll always have Harfwit, on video, to cheer up a gloomy day.

E_fart

Aye, Sunday, bloody Sunday; what shall I do?  No worries, the elephants have decided to have a water ski race – I shall attend – directly.

Toot, ducking, toot, toot, toot.

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